Pursuing Simplicity: Parenting

Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts

Friday, August 1, 2008

Back to School Frenzy

I have been on a break of sorts from blogging. Granted it is not a self-imposed break but one that has happened just the same. Having three teenagers in the home can take a toll on ones computer time. I have decided that I will try to hammer out a few posts until school starts on August 20th and then get back into my regular routine.

Today our fifteen and a half year old son got his permit! WOO HOO! Sitting at the DMV for two and a half hours was not so much fun in this searing heat we are having in Oklahoma. Seeing his smiling face after he passed with flying colors....PRICELESS! He drove me home and I must say that once you are on that third driver...it does get a little easier....I mean relaxing somewhat in the passengers seat. He is a good driver and now I need stronger knee pads....boy the praying is going to be stepped up a notch!

I wrote at the top "Back to School Frenzy" and that is what I mean. It is crazy that I have not bought my school supplies yet! However, I have a hefty supply closet that is filled from the last few years of bounty. I mean there are only so many index cards and reams of paper one can store! We are having a tax free weekend here in Oklahoma this weekend. I am headed out tomorrow along with everyone else to see what I can find.

I am sure that I will be back with a Super Savings Saturday post tomorrow. Until then, have a blessed and simple weekend!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

WFMW 4-2-08 Greatest Hits Edition

Shannon is hosting over at Rocks in My Dryer a Greatest Hits edition of Works for Me Wednesday. Below is one of my most popular posts from the past four months:

When I was growing up my Mom did everything for us. I dusted on Saturdays and attempted to keep my room neat and clean, but overall the most I ever remember doing was making chocolate chip cookies a few times, folding laundry, filling the dishwasher, and cleaning my room. I never even cooked or helped cook a meal until I was engaged to be married!

I admit that I am not very proud of this fact, however, I think it was also easier for my Mom to just do it herself. I was very busy with church and school activities, babysitting, and later in high school an after school job. I still have the little note that my Mom sent to me the first week of college that explained how to use the washing machine in the basement of my dorm! I mean I did not know how to even wash a load of clothes!

This brings me to my Works for Me Wednesday post. When I married my husband seven years ago and went from a single again parent of one child to a Mom of four, I knew I would need a plan for chores, responsibilities, rules...all the things that children normally have growing up in a family. However, three of my precious ones had lost their Mom three years prior and while my husband is absolutely the best, men were not created to be mothers just as mothers were not created to be fathers. I learned all I could about their Mom and what her teaching style had been for her three sweet ones and went about trying to come up with a plan.

It was one sweet act by a seven year old brunette with brilliant blue eyes that helped me see that there could be another way. In the long run, I would be teaching my children how to take care of themselves and not feel so lost as I had felt.

I came to this decision after our youngest, Hannah, had watched me intently each time I loaded the washer and dryer. She would pull a step stool up to watch and would ask questions. She was like a little sponge...taking it all in. Her Mommy had died when she was only three and a half. After living in a household full of boys for three years she was very excited to have a Mom to follow around.

One day I came home and she very proudly showed me the freshly washed towels all folded neatly and ready to be put away. I sat down and cried. Here a sweet seven year old had learned something that I did not until I was 18! She was so excited and felt so proud. It was after this sweet display of love I decided that maybe I could start with the oldest and see if this would work. I would teach them how to sort, wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry. My husband and I discussed this and after a little research we decided sixth grade was a great jumping off point to begin this endeavor.

So my quest began. I would like to say it has worked like a charm and that there have been no problems, but I can't....I have four teenagers...three of whom are boys....however, each child has their own wash day with the washer and dryer solely devoted to them. They mainly do their jeans, uniforms, underwear, etc. Mom still does the shirts/blouses that need special care and towels. Many times I surprise them and scoop it up and do it for them. I realize that these four young adults are much further ahead in life than I was back in 1979. They each know their way around the kitchen (that is another post), can keep a home neat, and can operate a washer and dryer.

I hesitated to even post this, but I have seen the pride they each take in this ability. It has been a rite of passage in our home when each one entered the sixth grade. The boys come in after a hard practice or game and the first thing they do is stick their dirty uniforms in the washer. It has taught them responsibility in a very tangible way. It has worked for our family and brought about many positive attributes.

For more Works for Me Wednesday post, head on over to Shannon's at Rocks in My Dryer.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

WFMW 3-26-08

Life keeps coming fast and since we are now through with spring break there are only nine weeks left in the school year! Summer is upon us friends!

It has always been a challenge for me as a working mom to fill the summers with fun and excitement for my children. Now that they are teenagers that fun usually means a significant outlay in cash!

We try to encourage volunteerism in our teens. For the past four summers our boys have volunteered at the Endeavor Games at the University of Central Oklahoma. The Endeavor Games is a nationally-recognized competition that allows all athletes with physical disabilities to participate in a multi-sport event similar to the Paralympics. The Games also provides training clinics for aspiring athletes. Click here to view 2007 Endeavor Games Video. They have become great friends with a lot of the athletes that come each and every year. It kicks off their summer each and every year.

Vacation Bible School is also another great time to have your teens volunteer. They can make the difference in a young child’s life while serving a worthwhile cause. Our daughter has volunteered at VBS as soon as she was old enough to help. One of our boys always helps with the skits. Our church loves to have teens help with VBS.

Another way our teens get involved is to serve as junior sponsors at our church sponsored Kid’s Kamp. Two summers ago a terrible virus spread rapidly through the camp. Many told us how much they appreciated our sixteen year old son (who was 14 at the time) and the way he comforted the eight and nine year old boys that were very sick. Even many of the sponsors got the virus. Seth cared for these throwing up boys and gave up his sheets and sleeping bag to those that had… ahem… mishaps. The point is….he could have begged off sick and let an adult take charge of those sick little boys but he stepped up to the plate and served and cared for them.

Beginning right now many communities will be putting out their calendars for the coming summer months. If you have teenagers find ways for them to volunteer. I would much rather my children serve others than sit in front of the television/video games all day or hang out at the pool each day. Volunteering prepares them for greater things in their adulthood. It develops their character and teaches them compassion. As with anything, a parent must be wise about when and where they let their teens volunteer. Be sure and check credentials if you let them volunteer somewhere other than your own church.

One more thing before I close….many teens get into trouble in the summer months because there is a lack of structure/parental involvement. One event that took place last year among one of our sons friends is each night (at least it seemed like each night) the kids ended up at one of their friends homes. The parents hosted them for the evening with snacks and supervision. Some parents had pools, some had big screen TVs with Guitar Hero and yet others had plenty of games to keep the kids occupied. It was a great time of bonding for the youth of our church who were all going to be attending five different high schools for the first time that fall.

Many times parents may feel that once their children hit the teen years that their job is nearly done. In our experience our teenagers love knowing we are involved and in touch with what is going on today in their culture. Parents, they want you to be involved and they want BOUNDARIES. Find ways this summer to give them opportunities to shine through the gift of volunteering their time. Works for our family!

Here are few more things you can read about teens and volunteering:
Teens and Volunteering
http://www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/volunteer.htm
http://life.familyeducation.com/volunteer-work/teen/29594.html

For more Works for Me Wednesday visit Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Blast Out Blog Tour for Trish Berg's Latest Release

I am so thrilled to present to you today an interview with Trish Berg and to be a participant in her BLAST OUT Blog Tour for her Latest Release… Rattled Surviving Your Baby’s First Year without Losing Your Cool!

I have a copy of Trish's new book to giveaway to my readers! Please leave your comments with your best Mommy tip and on Thursday, February 14th, I will randomly draw a winner!

Can you change a diaper faster than a rodeo cowboy ropes a calf?

Need more sleep,more laughter, and ten minutes in the bathroom – alone?

You must be a mom….Don’t let the clutter, chaos, exhaustion and Cheerio-dust get you Rattled.

With practical advice and scriptural reminders, author Trish Berg can help you not only survive the chaos and clutter of motherhood, but get back to the simple joy of being a mom.

I am excited to welcome Trish Berg, joining us today to talk about her new mom book, Rattled, Surviving Your Baby’s First Year without Losing Your Cool!

Trish is a national speaker for Hearts at Home, author of The Great American Supper Swap and Rattled. She has been published in Today’s Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com, P31 WOMAN, and numerous regional and national publications.

Trish earned her MBA before leaving the workforce for motherhood, then earned her Doctorate in Diaper Changing in Ohio where she and her husband, Mike, keep busy raising their four children on their family cattle farm.

Trish, welcome. Thanks for taking time to be with us today.

Thanks for having me.

So why is it so easy for moms to get rattled during their baby’s first year?

Motherhood is simply draining and exhausting. Hands down the toughest job I have ever had.

But moms are not alone, and I want moms to know that God walks with them through these exhausting years.

What stresses moms out the most?

I think moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to do it all by themselves, and to do it all the right way. They need to simplify, let go of many details, and ask for help, from their husbands, and from neighbors and friends.

Rattled actually begins by looking at the months of pregnancy. How can moms use this time to prepare to survive baby’s first year?

Nine months is not nearly enough time to fully prepare for motherhood. I am not sure there is enough time to fully prepare.

I remember when our first child, Hannah, was born, I felt that my world had been turned upside down. Hannah did not like to sleep, and so we spent many nights walking the floor, bouncing her up and down, trying desperately to settle her down. My husband, Mike, and I took turns walking laps around the house, like the Indy 500 with a lot more bouncing.

I am not sure I could have prepared for that.

But during your pregnancy, you can prepare in other ways. Like arranging for help. Ask your mom or mother-in-law if they can spend one day with you each week during the first few months. Just knowing someone is coming in the morning to help with the baby can make the being up all night not seem so terrible.

You talk about surviving motherhood. How do you help moms do that?

In Rattled, I talk about a mom’s survival kit. If you were thrown out into the wilderness, you would need FOOD, SHELTER, FIRE and WATER to survive.

Well, moms have been thrown out into the wilderness of motherhood, and to survive, they will need:

Water from the word (2 Samuel 22:3a) –To be in God’s Word.

A fire like desire for prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17) – Moms can pray their way through their day.

Nourishment body, mind and spirit (1 Corinthians 13:13) – Love on all levels nourishes us.

Shelter from life’s storms (Proverbs 17:17)-Friends to lean on, trust, and support us.

In Rattled, I spend some time talking about how moms can use that survival kit to get back to the joy of mothering.

You spent a lot of time listening to what other mothers had to say. Share with us your best advice for new moms.

I would tell moms to relax. No one does it right all the time. Let the laundry pile up. Leave the dishes in the sink, and just enjoy holding your baby today.

Don’t worry about doing “it” right, just enjoy the moments you have.

That is sound advice...

But what about dads? Give us a few tips into what dad is going through during the first year.

Dads are just as insecure as moms are about parenthood. Even more so in many cases.

Moms do much of the baby feeding, diaper changing, and baby care. So dads can sometimes feel left out, and incapable of caring for their own baby.

One thing moms can do is encourage dad to be involved. But in doing so, moms must let go of “their way” of doing things, and let dad discover his own way.

For example. When Hannah was a baby, every time Mike would change her diaper, I would criticize the way he changed it. I tried to teach him how to put his fingers under the leg elastic and make sure it wasn’t bunched up, preventing a future leak.

But every time I criticized him, he stepped back and became less involved. And you know what? Even when I did the diapers the “right way” they still sometimes leaked.

So I had to learn to let Mike change her diaper his own way. I let him put her to bed his way, bathe her his way, and be the dad God wanted him to be.

That can be difficult for moms who can tend to be slight control freaks when it comes to baby care.

But let me just encourage you that the help you will get from dad if you can let go of those details will bless you in more ways than you can imagine!

In Rattled you’re very open about the loss of your own pregnancy in 2002. How has that loss changed your outlook on motherhood?

I in the 2nd trimester of my fourth pregnancy when I went in for a regular check up. I was not having any problems at all, and went in alone.

My OB/GYN performed an ultrasound just to check for twins, and suddenly my world turned upside down when he could not find a heart beat.

I was completely devastated. Mike and I had two weeks of further testing before we had assurance that our baby had died. And through it all, I prayed for a miracle, my miracle, that my baby would be alive again.

But in the end, God’s miracle was not that my baby survived. God’s miracle was the reassurance that He used me as a vessel to bring a tiny soul to Heaven.

A year later, I lost another child to miscarriage.

Today, I have a greater sense of love and appreciation for my four children here on earth whom I hug with my arms, and a closer tie to Heaven where my two babies are waiting for me, whom I can only hug with my heart for now.

Today you’re the mom of 4 happy and healthy children. What do you see as the greatest blessing about being a mom?

I would say learning patience, but my husband would laugh out loud at that…since I am probably one of the most impatient people there is.

So I guess I would have to say enjoying the journey. I live Psalm 118:24 every day of my life.

“This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Life is messy. Things break. Kids get sick. But moms need to remember to enjoy the journey no matter where the journey leads.

Today at the Berg house, our washing machine is broken. Our mini van needs new tires. We are hanging onto Mike’s 1986 Jeep on a wing and a prayer, hoping it makes it another year or so.

There is mud on my kitchen floor, crumbs on my carpet, and I can honestly say that I love my life. Just as it is.

Now, I certainly have moments where I get stressed and discouraged, and can even lose my temper (just ask my kids), but I am also learning to enjoy each moment of every day as a gift from God.

And thorough it all, my simple hope and prayer is that I can be the mom that God wants me to be.

Where can readers learn more about you, Rattled, your other books, and your ministry to moms?

My website at www.TrishBerg.com offers tons of FREE resources, links and downloads for moms, as well as mor information on my books and ministry.

Moms can also purchase their own copy of Rattled by clicking here.

And I will be speaking at all 3 Hearts at Home Conferences in 2008, I would LOVE for you to join me there. The National conference is in March in Illinois, and in the fall there is a conference in Michigan and Minnesota. You can get more information and register at http://www.hearts-at-home.org/

Thanks, Trish, for joining us today. What a joy to meet you and learn more about your new mom book Rattled.

Thanks for having me. Blessings to you.

You can catch up with Trish all week long on her BLAST OUT BLOG TOUR by going to the following sites. There will be FREE book prizes, and great moms to connect with at each blog.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Trish Berg Blast Out Blog Tour tomorrow!

I am so excited to welcome Trish Berg, to Pursuing Simplicity tomorrow to talk about her new mom book, Rattled, Surviving Your Baby’s First Year without Losing Your Cool!

Trish is a national speaker for Hearts at Home, author of The Great American Supper Swap and Rattled. She has been published in Today’s Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com, P31 WOMAN, and numerous regional and national publications.

Come back tomorrow for the interview with Trish and the chance to win a copy of her new book Rattled!