Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Anchor still Holds

Life can be hard as an adult, but I can't imagine how trauma, heartache, disappointment, and grief feels as a young child/teen.

In our home, we have four very individual children that each have endured their own hurt, pain, heartache, and trauma. My oldest has had to deal with his father's leaving our home and all the pain and suffering that goes with a divorce. He is now older and can see for himself the depravity and what happens to a life when one turns his back on God and his child. The other three have endured unthinkable tragedy in losing their sweet Mom so early in their young lives to a horrible disease called cancer. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose your mom at only three and a half years of age. My childhood was so idllyic and happy that it is hard for me to wrap my head around how these four incredible young people handle this type of stress day in and day out.

The last seven years have been filled with new challenges, untold joy, dealing with grief, and the realization that life is not fair but God is good.

Yesterday our oldest was concerned that he had a cold heart and was indifferent when he heard that his father's long standing girlfriend (who was the catalyst in the breakup nearly 17 years ago) had her cancer reoccur. He told me he did not care but he was concerned that it was inappropriate to feel that way about her situation. I shared with him that we are to love our enemies and pray for them. He told me, "Mom this woman has made my life a living h*ll since I was a very little boy...I just don't care what happens to her." I was able to share with him why he needs to care but realized that this is an area the Lord will have to deal with him deep in his own heart. We went on to have a discussion about how my husband and three other children lost such an awesome Christian wife and mom. He said it seemed so unfair and yet I could point out again how the Lord is in control and how her life had been an example to those around her of Christ's love. My son then told me that he truly did not know how he would have made it this far if it had not been for my husband and his two brothers and little sister. It was a sweet time and gave me more things I really need to focus on in my prayers for him.

I hurt for all my children and their unique situations and on the other hand I rejoice in what the Lord has put together! He took two battle-scarred families and brought them together as only the Lord can do.

I leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs. When I hear it I think of what the six of us have endured in our lives and how the one constant between us all is that the Anchor still holds! Praise be to God!

The Anchor Holds
By Ray Boltz
I have journeyed
Through the long dark night
Out on the open sea
By faith alone
Sight unknown
And yet His eyes were watching me

The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees
As I faced the raging seas
The anchor holds
In spite of the storm

I’ve had visions
I’ve had dreams
I’ve even held them in my hand
But I never knew
They would slip right through
Like they were only grains of sand

The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees
As I faced the raging seas
The anchor holds
In spite of the storm

I have been young
But I am older now
And there has been beauty these eyes have seen
But it was in the night
Through the storms of my life
Oh, that’s where God proved
His love to me

The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees
As I faced the raging seas
The anchor holds
In spite of the storm


1 comment:

mommato4 said...

This is a very touching post! It sounds like you are a wonderful, Godly mother. I am from a broken home myself. It was very hard as a teenager (I was 17 when it happened). But one thing that was a blessing was my relationship with my Godly mom through it all! She had down times, but for the most part I saw her dependence and faith in God on a daily basis. I pray if I ever have struggles such as my mom did that I will be the Godly example she was. I LOVE this Ray Boltz song too!!!
Have a blessed day!
Christy